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Wednesday, November 11, 2009 @6:43:00 PM
♥ hot title:
okie. i'm back from aus - rockhampton
yup. a nice and relaxing trip.
didn't have to care about anything else(i tink so)
there's mostly old ppl in the town.
some girls were quite nice looking and the clothes they wear nice too.
slow-paced life unlike spore.
5.30am sunrise. lol. so early.
how i wished i could stayed there longer.
there's nth to do in spore anyway. lol.
cool wind & breeze. haha. simply wonderful weather.
and i tanned there for 1hr and straight away become black. lol
coming back to spore.
not excited to do anything else.
guess i'm still not used to the busy paced life here. lol
i'm still in aus slow-paced time. haha
okie. now there's 2 things i need to do.
NE for army and my 21st bday party chalet. yup
and its only 1 day apart. lol
bought a few items for my friends too.
haha. hope they like it. i specially choose them de. LOL
now i fully understand the way of relationships.
yup. read a lot of ppl's blogs.
knowing there's ups and downs.
i still tink in this conclusion.
i will be better off alone.
coz i know i can't make it through anyway (tried a lot of times alr).
now i just wan to calm down and live simply just my life.
NS over in 10 more months. LOL!
JIAYOU!!!
Know me by surface. Never know me in depth.
Monday, October 5, 2009 @6:11:00 PM
♥ hot title:
"You Are Not Alone"
Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone
'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone
Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that
I'll be there
I'll be there
You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone...
I dedicate this song to you..
@9:48:00 AM
♥ hot title:
2 weeks have passed
the tears have flown.
ytd was a hurtful night.
recieved replies from someone.
i cried again. but this time it seems so different.
i don't even know why i cried for this person.
i felt heartache, its juz so terrible to cry alone in bed without making any sound.
so pain in the heart. true pain. true ache.
its hard to hold back ur tears or even swallow it.
nevermind.
i will be going off soon.
everything will be fine.
maybe i wish i wun come back at all.
thanks. u are a very nice person all this while.
how i wish i have no feelings inside me.
so i wun feel anything at all
juz wana be one and only person if i have to.
one day have passed by
sad...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009 @10:09:00 AM
♥ hot title:
Changing is not easy.
Meeting the correct person at the right time is difficult.
So what if u meet the correct person at the right time?
There's bound to be problems too.
There's bound to be up and downs.
Its not about looking pessimistic.
Its juz sometimes things don't go well at all.
Can't help it.
I dun wan to look down at all.
Its all going back to square one now.
now everything seems to be my fault.
well. that's great.
let's start all over again.
being honest sometimes make u silly.
silly = dumb
I just need some understanding from someone.
maybe that understanding doesn't come easily.
seriously nth i can do now.
almost half gone for all of this.
It all depend on luck now.
lets hope miracles won't come.
Face the truth harshly.
Face the harsh truthfully.
@8:32:00 AM
♥ hot title:
I've been labelled as a criminal.
Thanks.
Friday, June 5, 2009 @11:31:00 PM
♥ hot title:In Love!
Hey guys! so long no blog le! LOL!
Anyway, I'm back! haha. back with a happy face.
coz i have a new girlfriend now. haha.
wrong. i have a lot of girlfriends. but i only have one steady girlfriend. haha!
she now treats me so nice. so loving. lol
haha. known her for years.
and then dun know why we ended up tgt.
lol. i tink tats fate wor. haha.
anyway her personality is almost the same as me. december babies.
haha. we got around in feb ba. haha.
now almost 4 months liao. lol
haha. i tink we started off great and enjoyable. hehe
u can ask her. she got excellent gifts from me within a month. LOL!
hope i also can get excellent gifts too. haha!
i know she loves me a lot de. haha.
here's her picture! LOL!
haha. I dug up this photo. lol! years ago liao.
haha. tink she will be mad at me. HAHA!
she look like small kid. LOL!
and i have long hair. lol.
i know she loves me.. i love her too as well.. =)
Friday, August 29, 2008 @1:00:00 AM
♥ hot title:
Wahaha! back in blog. Lol.
today was a very good day for me. haha.
lets talk about a few weeks ago.
i was working in suntec. a jewellery show.
haha. lots of diamonds!
and so many girls around.
and met a lot of funny encounters.
those who scold u no brain. lol
some everyday come here juz for lucky draws. 18k gold. lol
work was fun as always. as my boss always treat me esp well.
haha. fortunate to have her as my boss =)
but too bad. last show le.
dun worry. will still go out with her sometimes. haha
So now lets talk about today.
went with her to watch Wall-E.
haha. super lame show with no talking at all.
good robot with love. lol
after that. we walked to paragon and passed by the heeren.
then one pretty lady stopped us and said
"would u wan a free haircut at toni&guy?"
Wow. i was thinking so shiok man.
coz tat was zhanhui's dream to go there.
and yet now it free for me to go there cut.
but then the image of toni&guy suxs man. lol
services veri good. in the end kena cut by a trainee.
and the hair was terrible.
its ARMY HAIRSTYLE!!! LOL!
things couldn't be worse.
and this is the longest haircut i ever had.
1hr 30mins sitting down having a army haircut,
not including the time for washing hair. LOL
GOD DAMN IT!
she waited for so long. and i sitted for so long.
so pls zhanhui, u can go to toni&guy cut hair liao.
meant for army guys. LOL
sadded by everything.
she was so pretty, had big eyes but then is a trainee.
LOL. couldn't scold her. coz she looks realli nice. haha
but at least i got a free haircut before i go in army. lol
a toni&guy haircut tat costs $70plus and its army. LOL!
when i came out. my boss keep laughing like hell lor.
she almost fell to the ground, collasping with laughter. lol
so after that. we went to PS for manhattan platters.
then went for pool.
then to minds cafe.
haha. spent a lot indeed.
but i counted only $38 for today. LOL
and a free $70++ toni&guy haircut.
cannot post my hair pic now. coz u all might juz laugh to death. lol
in the past was kimage tat made my hair look toot.
now become more tooter. =(
but nvm. i got a surprise today.
she bought me a crumpler bag today. *stunned*
$94 bucks sia. *stunned stunned*
and she said this is not a bday present, juz a gift. *stunned stunned stunned*
LOL!
she realli treat me damn nice.
haha. shall buy her one during her bday too.
hehe.
so those who got read my blog. tats all for tonight. LOL
and pls meet me up to see my new "unique" TONI&GUY hairstyle.
u all will sure like it. even your parents will like mine too. LOL!
goodnite all~
17 days to ARMY WORLD!
bb~~
the days are coming soon. the army days. lol.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008 @12:02:00 AM
♥ hot title:
Social Realist (SR)
Social Realists are popular persons full of energy. They are reliable, well organized and helpful. Traditional values are important to them. Founding a family also plays a central role in their life. Social Realists have a marked social streak. They are always ready to listen to the worries and problems of others and spare no effort when they are asked for help. With empathy and understanding, they can sense what other people need. Social Realists are always willing to highly regard the strong points of the other person and to excuse that person’s weaknesses. They are the most sociable of all personality types. Social contacts are very important to them.
Social Realists find it very difficult to cope with conflicts and criticism - harmony is their elixir of life. Acknowledgement and esteem are very important to this type. Differentiation on the other hand is not necessarily one of their strong points. At work and in partnerships, they are loyal, committed and always there when needed. They find it easy to make friends due to their open, warm manner and they have a large circle of friends. In love, they are faithful and attentive and care for their partners with a great deal of imagination and sensitivity. Social Realists show their feelings openly and honestly. Should a relationship break up, they tend to blame themselves. That is why they find it very difficult to end a partnership even if it has not fulfilled their requirements for some time.
Social Realists are more conservative types. They have a set system of values and rules which is orientated to the prevailing traditions. They prefer clear, structured surroundings and work processes; they find too much change und unrest unpleasant. Their strong points are carefulness and reliability and not so much flexibility and spontaneity. Social Realists are open-minded towards anything new only to a limited extent. But, should one be looking for someone to fulfil a task reliably and exactly, they are the right persons.
this is what i am..
Monday, July 14, 2008 @11:29:00 PM
♥ hot title:
Yes! I'm back!
lol.
almost 1 month didn't blog le.
so here's the post.
I've stopped crying.
stopped feeling sad le.
But i'm not happy also.
i dun know why.
i have a lot of things in my life now.
ipod touch
PSP
magic cards
nice job
nice pay
great friends
and a easy life.
but maybe there's sth missing in my life?
in the past, i used to talk to a lot of ppl over the phone.
its like countless. LOL
but its realli fun, as u hear lots of different kinds of stories of their life
haiz. too bad. there's no one at all now.
some working
some studying
some already attached
some juz left.
thats what i am now.
singlehood =)
To those i chatted to u all before over the phone,
a million thanks to u all.
u all made through my boring poly life
thanks for the laughter
thanks for the tears
thanks for everything
hope u all someday come back and call me up soon. =)
Missing all of u. hehe
goodnites~
there's a lot i can do now for there's a new life waiting for me out there hope everything comes smoothly my way =D
Saturday, June 21, 2008 @1:51:00 AM
♥ hot title:
days and nights, i've been wanting her to talk to me.
seriously. izzit difficult at all?
izzit a face problem?
why nobody took the initative at all?
i didn't want to. as i dun know where to start.
haiz~
i hate blogging. for i cry so much everytime i write a post.
i juz can't help it.
memories are juz memories.
no matter how sad or how happy they were, they still hurts.
i'm trying to ignore wats happening everyday.
u know
photos i like to delete. but once its gone, its realli gone.
i can't retrieve it anymore if once i do it.
its not i want to cry.
i dun know when to stop.
i dun know how control
i fear one day i might be gone.
my friends.
i know. they are around.
but why?
whenever they around. i pretend to be happy.
why i juz couldn't be realli happy?
why?
i dun wan ppl to pity me.
but i'm realli sad.
maybe my horoscope is like that
i'm happy in their minds.
but everytime i'm alone, nth happy comes around.
u dun sad in front of them.
can i juz stop crying?
maybe i will cry until a limit where i can't cry anymore.
that will be the worst
and yet maybe it will be good for me.
so when do i move on?
she wun talk
i wun talk
nobody talks
if i am feeling the same way now, why wouldn't she feel the same too?
i juz need a hi
juz a simply hi
maybe tat will move me on.
goodnite ced~
everyone has a sad past. what's yours? i juz hope yours wouldn't be sadder than mine.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008 @1:13:00 AM
♥ hot title:
everyday life is so sianz.
passing everyday with juz sleep and eating. lol
NS is still far away.
can't even do sth right
it's damn bored here.
once in a while, i might feel alone.
i dun like emo-ing.
friends come and go.
A true friend is being a friend to urself.
its been weeks and months.
nvm.
planning a paintball outing soon on 28th june.
yup. everybody response is good.
glad tat they still will come.
juz before i go NS, i wish to enjoy with them.
i dun wan to be alone.
cedrick stop tear-ing in the middle of the night.. u know its not going to help at all.. pls be strong..
Sunday, June 1, 2008 @10:30:00 PM
♥ hot title:
Hello everyone! it's been long.
yup. these few weeks has been like numb?
anyway. starting from tml, its a whole week outing.
Mon - FMC outing
Tue - Sec school friends
Wed to Fri - Mentoring Chalet & Andrew's BBQ
Sat - enjoy the sun freely! =)
Sun - hoping to get sick and rest. LOL
Yup. life been the same.
not working.
growing fat.
thinking like thinklessly (if there is a word like this)
playing magic.
stunning everyone in this world. haha
yeap. life been a fool.
LOL
i seem to understand the meanings of life le.
to be able to take up, one must be able to let go.
i will do it and i know i can de.
To all couples that alr break up le.
juz hear wat i say.
=================================================================
its ur choice to choose to be friends with each other after parting.
but everyone needs a new environment after parting.
coz they tink tat they can move on with a new environment.
nobody wans to be dependent of one another.
they wan be independent and move on strongly.
so they choose not to be friends with u anymore.
maybe a few years later they might.
but at the moment now, please dun disturb one another as its not the time now.
i know it's terrible not to talk to each other now.
as u might tink the other party dun care abt ur life anymore le.
but remember tat they also have a hard time moving on too.
whenever u talk to them, they might juz tink u still holding on.
and they would tink of the past.
the past hurts. especially beautiful memories.
they hurt the most. coz u know u can never have them anymore le.
so juz move on with another new environment.
u might feel good with it.
thats life. you juz have to move on
knowing tat the person won't be ur friend for now.
u still have ur loving friends and caring family around.
put them into ur life and u will be happy.
smile everyday and good things will come ur way soon.
=================================================================
cedrick. u said it. u must do it.
u realli must do it.
dun fail this time.
juz move on with life.
let her go.
u will be happy soon.
pls. i beg of u.
jiayou.
stay strong!
if love doesn't exist in this world there wouldn't be torturing and suffering and i would be more happy.
Monday, May 19, 2008 @10:55:00 PM
♥ hot title:
its been long since i blogged..
now then i found out tat whenever i'm sad. i would blog. =(
seriously. i'm moody.
nvm. lets juz start with sth happening.
13th to 16th work as receptionist in EXPO.
fun and good environment job.
happy to see a lot of friends.
good to know them. haha.
how much i love to be with friends again.
i still can talk with others happily. as wat i am now.
being talkactive. being humourous.
but whenever i'm alone. i'm sad again.
seriously. i hate life for wat it is.
i dun know.
someone told me this.
let things rest more for a longer period of time.
we still haven talked to each other since after fo camp.
its been hard. and awkward.
things are juz not right.
nobody can help me. except myself.
i will juz indulge myself in friends ba.
no time left.
soon will be in a world of grass and mud.
goodnites all~
who can help me to get out of all this? seriously. i can't take it anymore i will fall straight into the cliff.
Monday, May 12, 2008 @10:12:00 PM
♥ hot title:
back from a fulfilling fo camp. =)
so great seeing so many friends for these 3 days.
done a lot of things for them.
i could also mingle with those mentors 2yrs younger than me.
love being with friends~
been veri tired.
today almost slept for 12hrs. lol
seriously, i felt a sense of warmth in mentoring.
throughout these 3 years, it gave me countless of memories.
wish i didn't had to finish studies and leave mentoring. LOL
so much fun. so much events. so much memories.
couldn't forget anyone of it.
they were precious to me.
yup. its now on my own again.
hope to have a better life from today onwards.
tml work again.
hope to be happy soon. =)
goodnite everyone.
thanks mentoring. you've been a great friend in my life. thanks for all the memories. =)
Tuesday, May 6, 2008 @10:05:00 PM
♥ hot title:
Some meaningful sentences i came across~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a nd discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character.'
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
if there's a bar to indicate how sad a person might be..
Monday, May 5, 2008 @10:18:00 PM
♥ hot title:
hello all~~ (if there's anyone reading this blog.)
its been a tiring weekend ya.
fo camp trials. i'm first aider again. lol
3 years being a first aider in mentoring camps.
seen a lot. seen much more clearly than ever.
she's more happier with her friends now.
anyone can see tat. i'm happy for her too.
she moved on le. without me.
everyone has a new life.
her life with happy friends juz started.
i dun wan her to hold back becoz of me.
i juz wan to get out of her life fast.
coz i dun wan hurt her anymore.
i should let her go.
i'm no boyfriend of hers anymore.
let me do sth right now to undo my wrongs.
i wan to apologise. sincerely.
sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry.
sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry, sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry.
sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry.
sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry.
sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry, sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry.
sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry.
sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry.
sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry, sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry.
sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry.
sorry for wat i've done. truly sorry. every of it came with a drop of tear.
hope u move on fast.
even if we couldn't be friends anymore, i still hope u be well and happy too.
wish all the best for u in ur final year of studies. good luck =)
maybe now i am juz a nice stranger to you.
Jiayou ya.
i will never forget this first of mine.
it will be happy memories =)
goodnite~
its hard to swallow ur tears quietly on a emo night. hard to breathe and cry at the same time. i juz wana stop crying now. stop it.
Monday, April 28, 2008 @9:14:00 PM
♥ hot title:
It's a tiring weekend.
gala night was fun. yet hurting.
hurt straight to my heart. deeply cut.
went with a 'funny' hairstyle tat made everybody can't recongise me at all. lol
heard a lot of comments. lots of negative ones. but who cares?
i dun care. i meant my hair to look tat way.
i hate myself. tats why i did tat
but i guess it wasn't tat terrible and horrible.
i need to buck up next time.
been called up to the stage a lot of times.
guess its our night. tats why.
been called up to be a couple with someone when actually someone u loved before was being the judge way back down on the floor. imagine tat feeling!
so hurting to be treated tat way. =(
yet she looked so happy way down.
she looked pretty to me. wearing in tat white dress. tat's lovely.
but she's not my girl anymore le
took a photo with her with the help of yongxin. thanks girl.
this photo meant so much to me. so dearing.
went up to her for a few mins chat.
got rejected and simpy ignored.
i dun know why.
she said she needs to go. does she have to??
i juz wan a few words with her.
its juz seems so hard to her.
forget it. its not the first time le.
went to orchard 24hr swensens eat icecream.
with yongxin, andrew, hui fen.
haha. cool. they are great friends too.
eat then reached home at 3am.
then next day went paintball. haha
i won sia! 3 rounds straight. and i never kena any paintballs. woo
haha. organising 1 soon! real soon! haha.
i wan shoot everyone. LOL
came back around 2pm. then went for my friend 21st bday in chalet.
LOL! its damn tired lor.
then i stayed overnight somemore!
didn't go work. bluffed them i sick. haha
slept at 6am, woke up by 9am. 3hrs of sleep sia.
alr 2 days being like tat de. only 3hrs sia.
damn tired~
going sleep now. nites!
my heart is still in pieces broken ones..
Friday, April 25, 2008 @11:19:00 PM
♥ hot title:
today was an unexpected day.
went to ervin's house to do somethings for the main com.
we reached jurong east mrt station.
it feels like its a new station. when actually its not.
i juz for a long time never came to this station le.
memories came. a lot of it. at different places.
it was happy memories afterall.
then after tat, i went ervin do sth.
until 9plus.
then i walked back to the station.
at tat time, my mind was thinking if i can bump into her too.
i went to the bus interchange to see a while. but she wasn't there.
i guess i was a bit stupid to hope for tat.
but as i walked along. my mind was filled with her.
then i saw her. i realli did saw her! and i realli did. i seriously did!!!
i was so shocked. hai.
i picked up my courage and came up to her. and said a hi.
i tink she was shocked too. she said hi too.
i saw her.. i did realli saw her.
why? why? why? why izzit so fated?
before we could meet at gala night tml, we had to bump into each other today.
its like so much of a concidence???
it was alr 10plus. and i still bump into her. i guess tats realli fate.
it is! it is fate. i met her juz so right.
i acc her to the bus stop and waited for her bus.
i guessed it was only the time left for me to talk to her le.
juz a few mins. i did saw her.
it was a different kind of feeling. everything so awakard.
seriously. i hold back my tears tightly. i knew i had to hold back. i can't cry.
i mean i tot a miracle happen again?
hai. i feel so happy seeing her again but at a lost of wat to say.
i knew i had no time left to talk to her as her bus coming soon.
she still treats me as a friend. juz a normal friend.
but in the end. she still left for the bus. i knew i can't hold her back.
i'am juz a normal friend to her. hai
let me say again. i saw her i saw her i saw her. it fate.
it is. i saw her. i realli did. hai.
how i wished time would stop at that time.
after she left. i keep weeping.
on the train home. i keep crying. non-stop.
i can't hold back my tears. i realli juz couldn't. it juz can't stop.
hai. i such a loser. a total failure.
but i can say it out. i still feel for her.
i realli do. i want her back. i still miss her so much.
i juz not a guy. hai
i dun know why.
it seems like heaven wan us to meet first before see each other tml at the gala night.
maybe like tat. wun be so awakard ba.
but but but. i realli did saw her!
i mean its damn concidence. like so fated.
wat to face tml? i dun know.
the emo cedrick comes once again..
Saturday, April 19, 2008 @10:50:00 PM
♥ hot title:
Yeah! finished my 3 days temp work le. haha
earned $100++ in 3 days. lol
it was quite a easy job.
binding papers and sorting out photographs.
LOL. anyone can do also. even a small kid also can.
saw a lot of angmohs there. half of the staff was them. lol
Tayler Nelson. i tink is a rich company. if not why my pay so good. =P
newspaper distributor still going on. haha. so tired every morning.
today is saturday. planning to go out tml.
to shop for clothes for dnd ba
although i not so looking forward to it.
will be the same scenario as last year too. haiz
its like as easy as getting struck by lightning twice in a row. lol
forget it. juz look forward to many mentoring friends tat day ba.
it will be good for me if i keep tinking this way.
life is juz simply cruel.
going ns soon le. lol
heard so many friends gotten their letters le. sianz
i juz felt a bit too rushing for me.
today played bball with my friend.
more than 7 years of friendshio sia. haha
talked to him a lot everytime we played bball.
yup. talked abt everything under the moonlight. HAHA
discussed a lot of things. personal things as well.
cool nite. :)
totally numb love and hate is juz a short distance away.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 @10:15:00 PM
♥ hot title:
2nd day of my work.
things are going well. haha
giving newspapers is such a easy job
ppl keep coming like ants from the mrt exit. LOL
i pity those ppl giving out flyers
1 out of 15 ppl took flyers. HAHA
suddenly i have one idea.
put their flyers into my newspaper.
then now cfm ppl will take and read the flyer as well. haha
so smart. =P
then ask them give me some of their pay. lol
earn more money. hehe
after work. Recruit Express called me.
this time its good news lor.
haha. got 1 job starting tml onwards till friday. woo~
$6.50/hr from 10am - 6pm.
Bishan area. as temp assistant. they say is easy job.
put photographs into envelopes. erm? LOL. i also dun know wad the hell is tat.
yeah. can earn more money now these upcoming days. haha
immediately go sign contract soon after. haha
damn tired. been sleeping 4hrs a day.
does it help to slim down as well? HAHA
but i dun wan get dark circles. lol
gala night coming. looking forward to it. as can see so many friends again.
yeah. night is always so emo. lol
everything now seems changed.
everybody starting a new life le.
haha. i still the same.
izzit possible to forget tat easily?
i guess not ba.
leave it to fate lor.
used to it liao. sianz
go have my energy now.
~goodnite~
things will take care of themselves in time to come..
Thursday, April 10, 2008 @11:52:00 PM
♥ hot title:
the petrol station didn't call me in the end.
guess they afraid i would blow up their cars for filling them full tank. LOL
how i wish i can blow myself up too. haha
pls. i'm mad alr. lol
went coffeeshop eat chicken chop rice.
so not appealing to me. haha
went home sleep at 3pm
suddenly i was woken up by a call.
recruit express ask me go work a 2 week job.
haha. the person still asked if i can still listen to her. coz i was damn sleepy. lol
okie. this job is those distributor assistants at mrt station giving out newspapers. -.-
work 2 hrs. $5.50/hr. damn it. have to wake up early in the morning same as my bro. lol
at least i found sth to do for the next 2 weeks.
hope can exercise at the same time too. haha
if any kind soul were to have breakfast with me or wad. i will be grateful to u
i working at raffles place mrt station. HAHA. 7.30am to 9.30am. sianz
everything about her is on my mind now..
Wednesday, April 9, 2008 @11:12:00 PM
♥ hot title:
wednesday~
almost half of the week
glad tat this week is coming to an end too
but upset tat i've nth to do at all.
today went for a job interview in yishun for Shell petrol station. lol
the boss is an indian and most of them are too.
i dun mind at all. i can easily make friends.
i juz wan the job to pass my time
but its $4 an hr. LOL! underate.
its okie. i can still live with it.
he says will call me tml.
hope he realli call me tml
*pray hard*
its still so alone without a close person beside me.
i still miss the times.
i realli do wan tell her
but i can't spoil this weak friendship after weeks of failure.
i juz can't do it.
the feeling still in my heart
does she ever miss me now?
does she still have feelings for me?
or izzit juz gone juz like tat?
i still miss her.
i still have feelings for her.
i realli want her back
its a terrible feeling to have.
school starting for her. veri soon. its juz next week
then she will start a new life soon.
with her mentoring friends
with her com
with her classmates
with her new hair colour
with her fyp
with her busy hetic life again
and most importantly,
without me in her life anymore le.
its juz so sad. its realli veri sad
i can't explain it
if there's someone here juz beside me. no matter who he or she is.
i would realli hug tat someone real tight and juz cry everything out. i realli would.
i know i've done mistakes.
but i realli wan to change and have her back right here
i wan her move on with life too
for i dun wan her to be hurt again
but i realli wish we can move on tgt with each other.
i'm sorrie. but its juz feels like tat
if one day she would juz say she miss me. i will melt straight away
haiz~
cedrick. move on ba. it will do u good.
take ur time. everything will be over soon.
there's still sadness in my smile. a sad smile.
@12:12:00 AM
♥ hot title:
still slacking at home. sianz
at least i done a lot of things today.
cleared my room.
re-washed my crumpler bag. haha. and it has completely dryed le. =)
accompanied my mum go buy cake
celebrated my bro's bday
it may seems so little things
but today was the most things i've done for the past 2 months. LOL
at least i did talked to her ytd night
it was quite peaceful
we talked abt com matters
gave her some advice
i guess she realli need some help
she need to let out her stress
glad to help her
at least we talked sth out of topic.
life is cruel in anything it has
realised everything is juz like tat de
everyone has to face it someday and somehow
yup.
we are still friends.
for once. i felt glad to hear tat.
things wun be awakard anymore
everything will be alright soon now. i guess so.
but there's still 1 feeling in my heart deeply.
i still miss her deeply. i realli do.
i couldn't tell her.
couldn't tell anyone too
except to write it on my blog.
i also dun know wat will happen if i realli told her i miss her still
maybe can't be friends anymore le.
i dun wan to take the risk again. =(
i wish god can appear right now and help me with this.
can i have her back beside me again? i still miss her so.
Monday, April 7, 2008 @10:41:00 PM
♥ hot title:
today the start of another week. monday~
guess its monday blues again. lol
woke up at 9.30am
read newspaper
eat breakfast
then slack in front of the tv.
wat a good life i have. LOL
but its a boring life as well.
a few more months b4 going NS
ppl asked me to enjoy these precious months left.
i also wan to enjoy ar. but i dun know how
no money. nth i can do.
maybe slacking at home watching tv and sleep is an enjoyment to me afterall.
its my thoughts again.
after ytd conversation, i guess my thoughts finally came to an end.
it finally stopped and came to a conclusion.
should i feel relieved or regretful over it? hai
i talked to someone ytd.
guess tat she's right
thanks for tat someone =)
she said it like all other ppl could have said
someone far away but yet close to msn. lol
i dun know wat i talking about now
yup. maybe should realli enjoy life while i still can.
but there's still 1 small little tiny thought in my mind.
life is still cruel. as always. its never kind at all.
so when sth nice comes ur way, cherish it happily and make happiness with it.
i guess i didn't. i failed. i'am a failure. again. =(
i juz can't accept the reason tat life is simply cruel.
and life is so cruel, why do we still have to live with it and suffer?
i've repeated it quite a lot of times. maybe i juz couldn't find the answer to this.
the first time is always unforgettable. hope everything is alright soon ba.
life is cruel. dun give me a life. i dun need this kind of life.
i juz can't understand life..
Saturday, April 5, 2008 @10:31:00 PM
♥ hot title:
Jus wat's exactly is life?
izzit a dream?
izzit a reality?
izzit a hope?
izzit happiness?
izzit sadness?
izzit everything u wished tat would go ur way?
so many questions and answers.
which will be the correct one?
i dun know. i seriously dun know.
i hate my life. i hate everything.
i so angry. yet only this is the place i can vent everything here.
it feels upset. feels tiring. exhausted by everything.
i've been hurt. twice in my life. by the most cruel things on earth: love
pls. feelings dun fade away so easily over such a short period
pls. can u juz be truthful juz for once? juz this once.
i need the truth. i need to know.
ya. i've seen the cruel things. seen everything. seen all of it. izzit realli so cruel?
then wats the point of living on?! when everything doesn't go so smoothly at all.
i've had enough. i realli had. its so tiring.
does life ever have a meaning at all?!
*sign*
i'm sorrie, my frenz
i can't pick up myself and move on
i'm hurt by life cruelty reality.
juz let me stay here a while longer.
i still miss her.
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever..
Friday, April 4, 2008 @10:30:00 PM
♥ hot title:
my muscles aching like hell
work too hard
chiongster! LOL
but i did tat to relieve my mind
stop me from thinking here and then. hai
now my life is a totally disaster
i dun know. it seems meaningless to me
no work.
no mood.
no exercise.
no fun.
not a life at all.
wish i can faster go in army and forget everything in my poly life
leave everything to fate ba
my life isn't worth tat much
ytd conversation was so "nice"
life is/was cruel
i hate ppl saying 'i dun know'
then pls. i would realli scold for tat
nvm. it takes time now
time will prove everything. i guess so.
hope u get back on ur feet again and be a better person in time to come
hopefully u move on with life too
i will do the same too.
time time time~
a carefree but yet a boring life..
Wednesday, April 2, 2008 @11:14:00 PM
♥ hot title:
today not bad
got shocked by my speed of giving flyers door to door
completed 1000 households in 3hr 30mins. LOL!
it was hard and tiring sia.
but the pathetic thing is that the pay for it
1000 households = $20. -.-''
meaning $0.02 for every 1 household i goes to. LOL
this is the worst job k.
but i managed to find a job where i can earn money and exercise too. Haha
indeed fun job. especially hearing dog barks. hard obstacles. =P
legs damn tired now. all aching le. sianz
got home around 2.30pm
hai. the thoughts came again
why can't i juz stop thinking?!
mankind so cruel. izzit it?
for no reason. tears came again so suddenly
ppl makes life cruel
be cruel to urself is equal to cruel to others.
so why not be kind a little bit?
nth else to say le
juz hope tat one won't regret his or her own actions
i always regretted every single little or big things i did. haiz
its been weeks le
i also wan to move on.
i juz can't help it. for i miss the times we once had
been hearing of breakups from my friends. sianz
wan to feel pity for them
but i didn't had the energy or mood to do so
i was also in a tearful state too
someone who acc for at least 1% throughout ur life. and its gone juz like tat
izzit fair? ya. it is "fair".
life isn't fair at all. haiz
now, the days of loneliness and singlehood are back
i guess i will juz have to "enjoy" it for now ba
time is aiding my heart to grow in pain..
@10:42:00 PM
♥ hot title:
"Total Eclipse Of The Heart" Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart And I need you now tonight And I need you more than ever And if you'll only hold me tight We'll be holding on forever And we'll only be making it right Cause we'll never be wrong together We can take it to the end of the line Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time) I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks I really need you tonight Forever's gonna start tonight Forever's gonna start tonight Once upon a time I was falling in love But now I'm only falling apart There's nothing I can do A total eclipse of the heart Once upon a time there was light in my life But now there's only love in the dark Nothing I can do A total eclipse of the heart Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in you eyes Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart And I need you now tonight And I need you more than ever And if you'll only hold me tight We'll be holding on forever And we'll only be making it right Cause we'll never be wrong together We can take it to the end of the line Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time) I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks I really need you tonight Forever's gonna start tonight Forever's gonna start tonight Once upon a time I was falling in love But now I'm only falling apart There's nothing I can do A total eclipse of the heart A total eclipse of the heart A total eclipse of the heart A total eclipse of the heart A total eclipse of the heart i need u more than ever..
Tuesday, April 1, 2008 @11:45:00 PM
♥ hot title:
my mood is like shit now.. haiz
ytd i had no sleep at all
every thoughts came by and left
but it still came back in cycles
totally moodless now
every night seems the same
no matter how i make my life busy,
the thoughts juzt forced its way through my tiring mind.
why life must be so cruel?
why life is never kind?
does kindness or cruelness exists in this world?
haha. i dun know at all
so wat if life is kind to u?
its only kind for a while yet cruel starts next cycle.
i juz can't stop thinking.
ppl says everything is predestined in heaven's book
then wat for continue living on juz like this?
u can't even decide ur fate ur life
for everything is alr planned carefully for u le
its so meaningless.
leading a life tat is already fated for u. haiz
how i wish i could change my life
to lead a life tat i always wanted.
Life is cruelty Cruelty is life free flow thoughts.
@10:30:00 PM
♥ hot title:
"Fragile Heart" A fragile heart was broken before I don't think it could endure another pain But there's a voice from deep inside of you That's calling out to make you realize That this new bond gives inspiration To all who feel no love appeal no more So how can I break this wall around you That's aiding both our hearts to grow in pain So forget your past, and we can dream tomorrow Save our hearts for care and lovin too It's hard I know, but oh One thing for sure Don't go and break this fragile heart A hurting mind in need of emotion I don't think I could endure another pain But baby in you, I've found affection Affection I have never felt before So don't let your past destroy what comes tomorrow Don't go and break my fragile heart With all this fire that burns between us There's so much to lose Yet so much more to gain And if I could, choose the world around me The world I'd choose would all revolve around you So help me complete the game inside me And help to mend my fragile heart who can mend it?
Monday, March 31, 2008 @11:57:00 PM
♥ hot title:
today 2nd day
guess the mood still the same ba
but at least i went out today had fun mind games
it was funny and great
went with astley, ervin & jackson to Minds Cafe
so many noisy and funny games. haha
wish could play all day to finish all the games
to feel numb to forget everything..
If i have all the money in this world, i would go out everyday with friends
lots of friends make my life happier. lol
especially jackson. long time no see him liao
but we chatted veri long over everything we had.
great to know him as my friend. =)
guess he's a happy-go-lucky guy too. haha
i've tink i learnt sth from him today. indeed quite a lot
guess he's like me too. juz the boy next door. LOL
Good luck for u ya! =P
Although the fun and great friends are there, sth juz feels not right at all
ought to understand the meanings of life
there's so many, yet hard to go find it all out.
life is juz full of obstacles and struggles
life is never easy at all
life is simply meaningless to me.
It's not i dun wan to be optimistic, its juz tat things make me feel like this
can't help it. time dun wait for ppl
neither do i wait for time too
its juz so complicated for me to tink everything
i felt tired but life still goes on ya
i wan to tink but thinking makes me go mad
maybe one juz lives for itself ba
who can i blame then?
its juz life and me now
juz tired~
life is never kind at all..
@11:36:00 PM
♥ hot title:
*You Make Me Feel* I've been trying to reach you' Cause I got something to say But you're talking about nothing at all And you're slipping away We were crying together It was a long time ago Before you walk out the door And leave me this way Just here what I say You make me feel You make me real For the rest of my days In so many ways You make me feel I've been trying to leave you Why should we go on like this But my heart can't breathe When I hear you say It's better this way Ten thousand light years away from you Keep thinking maybe it's time to let go But by the end of the day I still want to say "Do you" you juz make me feel for u..
Sunday, March 30, 2008 @10:37:00 PM
♥ hot title:First Post
My first blog and post! =)
finally found a place to sort out my thoughts
thought i would juz died of boredness and fatness
in the past, used to tink tat blogging is a stupid thing to do
but now, my views totally changed
i need to blog everything out
especially the times now
20yrs of my life
finally started blogging
juz a place for me to vent everything out..
for these few weeks..
many crazy and wild thoughts went thru my mind..
couldn't sleep
couldn't dun tink
couldn't open my eyes clearly
couldn't cry anymore
couldn't be wat i am
all these became part of my life duties.
this world is full of obstacles
seen the ugly side of life..
so wat?
life still have to go on juz like tat
ppl say me optimistic
ya.. i am..
but..
i juz can't help it.
dun worry..at least i still have my blog to say everything out
still got 2 more months
can acc me for tat long
hope by tat time, everything had moved on le.
the nitemare has juz started.
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